Suis je ferme assez pourtant...

Saturday night really proved to me how much I don’t care about my own safety anymore. I really didn’t care. Normally I would be careful who I’m around in town, where I go, what I do, who might look shady, if I’m in danger at all, to avoid doing stupid stuff, or stuff that could get me hurt…. but Saturday night, didn’t give a rat’s arse. I was talking to everyone any one of my friends who I was with knew. I was talking to random people every where we went. I was hi-5ing everyone and anyone who walked past. Taking peoples hats and trying them on. Borrowing someones ridiculously large novelty loveheart glasses and trying them on for a photo. Skipping through the streets, past cars, behind cars, in front of cars. Running along the top of benches. I tried on some guys bow-tie. Hi-5ing security guards. I even hi-5’d a cop who was walking down Rundle St at 3 in the morning. Crossing roads without really looking. Talking to random guys. Talking to a guy with an eye-patch and a rather fantastic fedora. I bumped into a ridiculous amount of people that I knew. I bumped into friends’ friends that I had met before. I bumped into uni friends. I bumped into old high-school friends. Every where we went I saw a group of people I knew.

One of my friends went off to meet some of his other mates, later texting us to get us to come to him at The London. There we met up with his mates, a few of which I had met before, and one of which it happened to be his birthday. I had met him once before on a bus with my friend who was friends with him in high school. Anywho, I wished him happy birthday, chatted with him and his friends about things for a bit, then end up being led by him to a section of the dance floor away from his friends who were off to the side and led to the middle of the dance floor. He flirted with me while we danced, with other guys looking at us, but according to him they were all just checking me out. Weird thing was I felt kinda happy for a change, but at the same time still really numb. Like I was there dancing and partying but I was on auto-pilot or something at the same time. But I guess you can call it having fun, which I was probably feeling because I was still quite tipsy at this stage, and its nice to feel attractive enough for a group of boys to check you out while your dancing with a cute boy already. Then when the birthday boys group wanted to go we went with them, and went on a ridiculously strange and random walk to D&D. On the way we talked to people walking by, we borrowed peoples stuff to take photos with, we hi-5d people, we even grossly took a bite from some guys pizza on Hindley St because we were hungry and it seemed like a good idea at the time. It was all so random. Everything we did was a split second decision, and completely spontaneous, and I know if I cared what people thought of me, or cared what people might have reacted like- like if they hurt me-I wouldn’t have done any of the stuff I did Saturday night. Also the birthday boys group of friends were so free spirited and fun and care free, and I had a good time hanging out with them, and they seemed to like me too. The guy I danced with said I was very attractive and said I felt like a breath of fresh air, and that I was so easy to talk to so he asked his mate if I could go to his birthday party on the weekend and his friend said yes. So I guess I’m going to his mates party on the weekend. I like their group, they seem to be very much about having fun and letting what may happen happen. I’ve kind of been more of the planning and not so spontaneous events person for a while, and for over a year I had to schedule my life around a guy… like literally schedule time, so I think it’s time for a change. I think it’s time for super extrovert Toyah to come out of her shell now that she doesn’t care if she gets scratched(metaphorically) by the world anymore. Yay for making new friends. Yay for spontaneity. Not caring is amazing. With not caring about yourself or what may happen you really do have nothing to lose. You’re kind of untouchable. I think I’m going to adopt this spontaneous no care attitude when I go out in future, because it seems like it would be a fun ride. Also because you meet a fuck load of interesting and fun people when you’re not worried about saying something that makes you seem stupid, or weird, or worrying that people might think you’re ugly. Or any of that. Being tipsy and not caring makes me super extroverted, and things get interesting.